Be the Verb!

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Speaker Judi Holler wants you to take action

The sizzle reel of keynote speaker Judi Holler’s life starts with a 10-year-old blondie rocking sparkles in the grocery store. It then careens from bartending like a boss to director of national accounts with Omni Dallas Hotel, working out of Chicago. She changed course by dipping her toe into improv theater at Second City and making waves as the bestselling author of “Fear is My Homeboy.” Then it was full speed ahead to motivational rapper in graffitied suits advocating on massive stages for corporate audiences to “holler at your dreams.”

What is the throughline of all these versions of that little girl? There was no map. And in the beginning, she didn’t even know where she wanted to end up. She just embraced who she was and was brave enough to use the verb she was born with to inspire others to build a life and career that reflects their truth.

She wants you to be the verb—any verb will do, so long as it fuels self-guided, forward and upward motion. She hollers. Maybe you surmount. Or soar. Or, most definitely, succeed.

That level of what Holler calls “self-leadership” is a tool anyone, including meeting professionals, can call on to take action in a world that is not going to come rescue you if you get stuck. We asked this momentum-creating force of nature who spoke to a cheering hospitality audience at Smart Woman Summit in August how to tap into her wisdom off the stage.

Crowning Yourself

Holler starts with some definitions. “Leadership focuses on guiding a collective around a mission. Self-leadership is the act of making moves on your own behalf in the direction of your dreams and goals,” she explains. It requires motivating yourself to take action despite doubts by making small, daily, brave moves. When you think about it, a lot of what a leader manages is outside of her control, but self-leadership is about driving your own car.

Like the world of improvisational theater, we don’t have a script for life, and we can’t control the outside world. But with focus, we can control our inside world. It requires facing fears, identifying your targets, making moves and putting yourself in the room.

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“I live my life as the CEO of me. That means taking ownership of whatever role you’re in, and acting as if you are already where you want to go and who you want to be,” she says. For example, when she was a sales manager, she would walk through the hotel as if she owned it. “I would ask myself, ‘If I were the owner, how would I run this site visit, treat the staff, dress?’” She also practiced that exercise when she was a bartender and when she wrote her book. She asked herself, “How would an author think? How would she feel? How would she spend her days? What would she read? Who would she talk to? What courses would she take?”

The same theory works for an event planner putting herself in the shoes of the CEO of a company. Ask, “How would I design the event and empower the people around me?”

“I put myself in those rooms and in those places way before I was ready. I put that crown on as if it were already mine. That is self-leadership,” she says. “No one is coming, and Prince Charming has probably already chosen someone. I’m gonna put the crown on myself.”

This self-determinism is part of Holler’s overarching philosophy that says, “You can have anything you want; it’s just going to cost you who you are now.” That’s scary, she concedes, but perhaps not as scary as staying stuck in a place that doesn’t align with what you were born to be.

Change requires getting comfortable with being new at something again, making mistakes and learning. “We get where we need to be through trial and error and lots of cringe-worthy, gutsy action. Real, impactful things, legacy-building things take time,” she cautions.

Finding Your Verb

Discovering your life mission requires using that time to understand your deep-seated dreams. “I love goals, but they are fleeting,” Holler says. “They can change based on the circumstances. Dreams keep you up at night. They are so deeply woven into the fabric of your being that you can’t shake them.”

To start the dream-hunting, think about what gives you energy. Conversely, what drains your energy?

The homework assignment here is to think about who you were between eight and 10 years old, the time before the world got hold of you, before you were told you were too much, and you got scared. That is when you were the full expression of your soul. Ask, “What brought that younger self joy? What was she playing? What was she pretending? What was she reading? What was she doing? What was she wearing?”

Ask yourself what you were born to do.

In Holler’s case, that little girl was taking pictures of graffiti tags on walls and expressing her ideas whenever and wherever she pleased. And she was spray painting everything.

“I’ve always been extra, but now I embrace making myself uncomfortable because that is how you achieve big things,” she says.

Holler believes everyone is an artist, whether they express that through the events they plan, the children they raise, the business they build, the family and friendships they cultivate—everyone is constantly creating.

Future Perfect

Understanding the source of your energy can give your efforts direction. But it can take a decade of brave work to get back home to yourself.

“When we’ve been standing in the same place too long, we have to make an effort to ‘verb it,’ push ourselves into something new despite our shaking knees,” she says. Sign up for a class, hire a coach or take yourself on a “creativity date.” Remix your life to bring something new into your world and wake up something that has been lying dormant.

Holler suggests starting small. Perhaps wearing a sequined graffiti outfit is not aligned with the backstage role you currently have at your company. Try sparkly shoes once a week.

You and your team can build courage and then move on from there. You don’t have to start with the biggest thing. Be patient and enjoy watching the journey unfold one intentional day at a time.

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Spoiler alert: Nothing’s predictable.

“Life is improv,” as Holler always says. “The goal is to be flexible, to adapt and flow with what’s happening, instead of forcing and controlling our way through.”

When it all feels too much, give your brain a minute, she suggests. Take a breath wherever you are, slow your roll and center in whatever way works for you.

Above all else, protect your time. Look at your calendar to see where you are people-pleasing rather than prioritizing your dreams. “Remove distractions, set boundaries and protect your peace at all costs. Look at what you’re listening to, reading and watching, who you’re hanging with, because what you take in impacts you at your core,” she says.

“Dreams are always flowing,” Holler says. The question is, are you going to catch them and go do something with them? Most people don’t. Most people let the idea for a cool event, an exciting job change or a better life pass on by until someone else goes and does it. They saw the same thing and even though it sounded crazy, they decided to take the first step even if they didn’t know where it would lead. The trick is to be brave enough to catch something that excites you—and then take that ride.

Releasing the full self-expression of who you are is powerful. It is also contagious. When you take a chance to live out your life’s contract, you inspire others (who have been watching you all along, don’t you know?) to do the same. When you are not afraid of your truth, you are free. And don’t we all want to be free?

This article appears in the September 2024 issue. You can subscribe to the magazine here.